


Panic

by Fairheads



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29879466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairheads/pseuds/Fairheads
Summary: Series 33. Duffy has just found out that Charlie knows about Bill. This is what I think might happen next.
Relationships: Lisa "Duffy" Duffin/Charlie Fairhead
Kudos: 1





	Panic

"I... I... " Duffy was inhaling quickly now. Her eyes were wide and she was moving backwards out of the treatment room. Charlie knew. Bill had told him. She knew that Bill would have made it sound much worse than it was- childhood sweethearts rekindling their romance or something like that. But it wasn't like that at all. She didn't even remember, she had only wanted someone to talk to. She didn't know how it had happened or what had happened really either. She just knew that she loved Charlie and a life without him terrified her.

She turned quickly, the panic rising as she walked towards the staff room. Although a large part of Charlie was in shock and wanted to leave her to feel the pain that he was now feeling too, he loved her and found himself following her across the waiting room involuntarily.

Charlie had never seen her like this before, he realised she was having a panic attack. He reached her side and she looked directly into his eyes.

"I... I'm... s... so... s... sorry." She gasped, struggling to calm her breathing and get the words out to explain. She was desperate to talk to him but her body wouldn't let her. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and she was holding onto the staff room door handle, trying to steady herself.

"C...Ch...Arlie," she looked at him, her breathing becoming more ragged, her eyes more panicked. There was no one else she needed more than him. It had been a terrible mistake. How would she convince him?

Rationally she knew this was another panic attack but she still felt absolutely terrified. When would it stop?

"I'm here, deep breaths Duffy, try not to talk," Charlie instructed her as he reached for her hand and lead her into the staff room. It didn't matter what he had just discovered, right now she was struggling and as always he was there and he was going to help.

Once inside the staff room, Duffy released Charlie's hand and rushed over to the counter. Gripping it, she bent over, trying to catch her breath but her breathing becoming faster still. It reminded Charlie of another time, when she had given birth in her lounge, all those years ago. The memory created a lump in his throat. Their relationship wasn't just a quick bit of fun, he had loved her for years and had never imagined that in less than two years of marriage she would have moved on with someone else. Pushing his thoughts aside, he focused on her breathing.

"Duffy?" She looked terrified and his heart went out to her. Looking up at him in response to her name, desperation etched on her face.

"P-p-lease!" She gasped, reaching for him. He moved closer:

"I'm here, I'm right here. You're having a panic attack love," he diagnosed and she nodded, tears forming in her eyes. How could he be so nice after finding out what she had done? This thought made her breathing even quicker. She was beginning to feel quite lightheaded and Charlie noticed and reacted.

"Duffy, I need you to breathe with me, listen to my count, breathe in for four, 1-2-3-4, breathe out for four, 1-2-3-4." Charlie counted in an attempt to regulate her breathing. Duffy was really trying but she couldn't get to 4, she grasped the counter tightly, her knuckles turning white. Seeing her battle, he reached out and placed his hand on top of hers. His touch instantly helped to calm her a little, although her breathing was still way too fast.

"This will be over soon love, there's nothing to be afraid of here, keep counting, in 1-2-3-4, out 1-2-3-4," Charlie continued. Duffy was trying so hard to follow his instructions but it was a real struggle to regain control, she closed her eyes. Charlie moved behind her, ready to catch her if necessary. Automatically he put his hands on her shoulders and rubbed her neck, something he often did to relax her or to show her that he was there- whether she was washing up at home or filling in medical charts at work. After so many years, he knew just what she needed. Or perhaps he didn't, after today's revelatory news! This time though, her body was trembling underneath his fingers. A lump came to his throat, as he wondered if Bill had touched her in this same way, but he pushed the thought away. Gradually her breathing began returning to normal with his hands and voice reassuring her the whole time.

"You've got this Duffy, deep breaths love."

When her breathing had almost returned to normal, Charlie suggested moving to sit on the sofa- he was not sure for how much longer she could stand. Turning to look at him, her face now deathly white and body shaking, she nodded. He helped her to walk over to the chair and sit down. Her breathing had normalised but she was still shaking and new tears now filled her eyes. She hadn't wanted him to see her like that. She had tried so hard to be strong- what a stupid mistake that had been! Leaning forward, she covered her face with her hands, she felt embarrassed and vulnerable. Here goes, she thought.

"Better?" he whispered, rubbing her back tenderly. Duffy nodded, looking up at him through her tear filled eyes, which she tried to hide with her fingers. Despite everything, he loved her and seeing her in pain, broke his heart- he couldn't bear it. Those eyes, they had seen so much and he could almost delve into her soul by looking at them. Today he only saw pain, terror and what he hoped was perhaps remorse.

"Come here," he said softly, pulling her to him. How could he be so lovely, after all that she had done? He must really love me, she thought, and yet in return she had thrown it all away. Realising this, she sobbed and he just held her tight, passing her a tissue from the box on the table. She wished she could stay in his arms forever, there was literally no where else she would rather be. Would she be able to reveal everything? Would he understand? She realised, she had nothing else to lose.

Charlie embraced her tightly, there was a lot that he didn't understand but in that moment she needed him and he would always love her, no matter what.

"I'm so sorry Charlie... I have a lot I need you to tell you," Duffy whispered.

"I think you better start from the beginning!" Charlie replied but continued to hold her tight, he knew that whatever she had to say would hurt but he wasn't letting her go that easily.


End file.
